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EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS
"Earth Day"
Closed Captioned

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CHRIS ROCK:
Every school year,
there were always days

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when students had to do
special assignments.

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Good morning, everybody.

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Some were easy,
like Thanksgiving.

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Your assignment

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is to write a report
about what you're thankful for.

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And Martin Luther King Day.

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Your assignment

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is to report
about what you would dream about

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if you were about to be shot.

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Some were a lot harder.

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This week is my favorite
holiday: Earth Day.

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Or, as you would say, Chris,
Earf Day.

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If you live on Earth,
isn't every day Earth Day?

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What's Earth Day?

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Well, Chris, people are
destroying the planet

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with things like plastic bags
and cans, bottles,

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and indestructible foodstuffs.

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On Earth Day, we put forth our
best efforts to save the planet.

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I thought saving the planet
was a waste of time,

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because I was too busy
trying to save me.

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I tried saving my face.

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I tried saving my ass.

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I even tried saving

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my future kid's ass.

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To this day, I love geography.

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Your assignment is to do
something you think

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will help save the Earth.

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Greg.

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You mean something like building
a solar

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Isn't that what the beach is?

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That's very good, Greg.

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Chris, what would you
like to do?

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I knew my dad had a truck
and Bed-Stuy was a mess.

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So I had the perfect project.

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Uh, collect cans
and recycle them?

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That's wonderful.

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Then you could

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take the money and do something
for the environment.

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You could plant a tree.

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Maybe I could plant
my foot in your b...

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* Ah, make it funky now.

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Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION

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Having my father help me
with my Earth Day project

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seemed like a great idea
until he found out about it.

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Earth Day?

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It's the day we try
to save the Earth.

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I have a project
to do, too.

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Well, Earth Day must
not be too important

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if I still got
to go to work.

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Are the banks closed?

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You still got to feed
the parking meters.

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And what are you doing
to save the Earth?

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I'm recycling cans, and the
money I make I'm going to use

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to help the environment.

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Just like the Republicans.

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I don't know, Chris.

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Sounds like it might
take too much time.

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Julius, your son is trying
to save the Earth.

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Are you going
to help him or not?

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My father had been asked
that question before,

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and there was only
one right answer,

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whether it was something
minor...

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Are you going to do
the dishes or not?

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Or something major.

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Are you going
to propose to me or not?

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Here you go, baby.

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Oh!

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Thank you.

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See?

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Sure, I'll help you out.

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Here's your first can.
I hope you get an "A."

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Thanks, Dad.

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What are you doing, boy?

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I have to build a car
out of this piece of wood.

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I want to know what you're
doing with my potatoes.

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That's how I'm going
to power it.

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It's environmentally
friendly.

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You wasting my potatoes
is butt-whipping friendly.

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Me and Drew were trying
to save the world,

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but Tonya was about to be
in a world of trouble.

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Listen to this:
"Dear Parent,

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"Your daughter Tonya
has been cited

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"for a conduct violation,

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and your presence is being
requested for a conference."

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What kind
of conduct violation?

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She said I was being
rude and belligerent.

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Ain't no damn body
rude and belligerent.

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I'm going
to go down there

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and show them what
rude and belligerent is.

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No kidding.

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Rude and belligerent.

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While I had my father
on my side,

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my mother was going to get
a teacher off of Tonya's back.

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I don't see why I have to take
a whole day off of work,

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to come down here
for this nonsense.

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I don't think it's nonsense.

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Tonya was exhibiting
some aggressive behavior

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toward a classmate.

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I just wanted you
to be aware of it.

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I was just trying to read,
and she wouldn't be quiet.

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Girl, you interrupt
me again,

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I'm going to knock
the sound out of your mouth.

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How is she being
aggressive?

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Apparently, Tonya turned toward
her study partner and said this.

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Did you say this?

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Sorta.

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Well, she was trying
to study, right?

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That's not the point.
Oh, well, I think it is.

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This is school, and her behavior
will not be tolerated.

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Her behavior?

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What about the other
little girl's behavior?

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Why don't you have her mother
come down here

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and tell her kid to shut up

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while my baby
is trying to study?

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That's neither here nor there.

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Then please, where is it?

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What I'd like to ask is

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do you know where Tonya
got this language from?

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My mother had two answers
to that question.

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Answer A:

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She got it from this knot I'm
about to put upside your head.

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And Answer B:

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Well, I don't know,
but it won't happen again.

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Have a nice day.
Tonya, come on.

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I want to get
transferred.

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Girl, don't backtalk me
right now.

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Now is not the time.

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Later, I found out
that before Al Gore,

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people had no idea what to do
to save the Earth.

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If you want to save the Earth,

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you better figure out
what to do about them Russians.

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They got bombs.

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My whole family worked
in the fields.

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I hate fields.

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I love concrete.

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You can't grow cotton
on concrete.

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I help the environment
by driving as much as I can.

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You ever ride that train?

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That train is filthy, man.

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You know it's dirty as hell
when rats got footies on.

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You want to save this planet?

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Get rid of them trains.
Get rid of them trains.

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I help the environment
by wearing wigs.

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People put a whole lot
of chemicals in their hair.

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Then they wash it out.

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It goes right into the river.

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People got to drink that water.

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When you done with a wig,
just flush it down the toilet.

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If it ends up in your glass,
well, at least you can see it.

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I use "I Can't Believe
This Is Not Margarine."

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It tastes real great.

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Plus it has paudridridamadra-
hydraglycerin.

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That saves cows.

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If the Earth died,
that would be tragic,

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but I sure like
to sell that coffin.

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So how'd it go with Tonya?

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Her teacher is crazy.
That's how it went.

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What happened?

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I was trying to study and this
girl kept talking so I told her:

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:
"If you don't shut up

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"I'm going to slap
the chatter out of you."

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And she left me alone.

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Wow, you sound just like mom.

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No, she doesn't.

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She does.

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I mean, just a little.

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So you think
that this is my fault?

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Well, you do kind of
always yell.

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Okay, then fine, I'll stop.

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What

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You're going to stop yelling?

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Yes, I'm going to stop yelling.

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You just watch.

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I got five dollars says
you won't last a week.

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Bet.

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Getting my father
to agree to help me

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with my project was one thing.

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Getting him to actually help
was something else.

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Dad.

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Dad.

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Hmm?

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You think we can go out
and get started?

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Started on what?

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Collecting cans.

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What cans?

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For my project.

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What project?
My school project.

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What school project?

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Collecting cans.

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Chris, I'm tired.

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Can't you do it yourself?

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Yeah, I guess I can start
by myself.

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A kid collecting cans
with his dad is recycling.

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A kid collecting cans
by himself is bum practice.

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Dad?

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Well Earth, It's just us.

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Since my dad wouldn't help me,

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I had no choice but to collect
a few cans on my own.

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Unfortunately, you could turn
in cans for money,

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and every bum
in Bed-Stuy knew it.

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They may be bums,
but they're not lazy bums.

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Hey, Chris.

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What are you doing in there?

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Collecting cans.

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Turn in enough,

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get a lot of cash, plus,
it's good for the environment.

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What are you doing, soldier?

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00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,233
I'm trying to collect cans, too.

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It's for my Earth Day project.

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Want to collect cans
around here?

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You got to be quick.

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Yeah, I guess so.

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Got to be quicker than that.

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After a couple of days,

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my can project
was going down the toilet.

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You've got to be quick
to get the cans.

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That's a big business.

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I thought my dad was
going to be helping me.

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This was supposed
to be easy.

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Maybe you should
switch projects.

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Yeah, now all I have to do

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is come up with a
solar-powered excuse.

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I'd help you, but I ran
into a major problem.

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What happened?

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00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,273
While I was making
my tanning bed,

228
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:03,310
I accidentally invented
an incandescent light bulb

229
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:05,813
that won't burn out
for 600 years.

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00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,948
That's amazing. Then
you'll definitely get an "A."

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00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,983
I can't turn that in.
Why not?

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00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:12,252
Are you crazy?
I'd be a marked man.

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00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,922
I'm not taking down every major
power company in the nation.

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00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,924
They'd have me
killed in a minute.

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00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,992
So I decided to switch projects.

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00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,829
I'm going with
a dung-powered radar system.

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00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:25,098
US patent

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00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:27,267
So what are you
going to do?

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Well, I figure there's a bunch
of cans around here somewhere.

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I might as well
just keep looking.

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See these two little
cup

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00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,774
Mm

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00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,909
Put the potatoes in them.

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00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,045
Take one of these
little electrodes

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00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,246
and plunge it
into the potato there,

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00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:42,950
and take the other one and
plunge it into the other potato.

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Back at home,
my mother needed help, too.

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00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:48,188
Drew, what is all this stuff
on the table?

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Boy, you better clean this table
before I knock...!

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Are you yelling?

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00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:53,360
No.

252
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:57,397
Sweetie.

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00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,667
When you get a chance...

254
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,635
would you mind
putting this stuff away,

255
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:02,970
so I-I-I can set the table
for dinner?

256
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,672
Yeah, I'll do it in a minute.

257
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,709
Hi, Tonya.

258
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:11,278
Did Daddy say you could have
ice cream before dinner?

259
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,380
Nope, but I got hungry.

260
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,082
But Tonya,
it's almost dinnertime.

261
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,817
I don't want you
to ruin your appetite.

262
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,018
Mama, don't worry about it.

263
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,087
I'm going to eat my dinner.

264
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,836
Tonya, why are you reading

265
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:36,670
at the table?

266
00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:37,838
Why aren't you eating
your dinner?

267
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,139
I'm just not hungry.

268
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,741
Hmm, well,

269
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,743
maybe it's all that ice cream
you had before dinner.

270
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:43,343
Yeah, maybe.

271
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,211
Who said

272
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,779
you could eat ice cream
before dinner?

273
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:46,313
Nobody.

274
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:47,881
That's the
problem.

275
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:48,348
What?

276
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,817
Nothing.

277
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:53,320
So,

278
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:54,021
Chris,

279
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:55,789
how's your project coming along?

280
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:58,959
Okay.

281
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,161
Um, me and Dad are just trying
to figure out a time

282
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:02,963
that's good for us
to go looking for cans.

283
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,832
Yeah, we're working on the time.

284
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,033
Oh, okay, that's nice.

285
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:07,334
I'm sure you two
will work it out.

286
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,402
Mm-hmm.

287
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,371
Well, I finally figured out
my project.

288
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,206
I hope you figured out
how to clean that mess up.

289
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,343
I-I built a potato clock.

290
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:19,312
Now all I have
to do is paint it.

291
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,413
Paint?

292
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:21,782
On my dining room table?

293
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:23,717
Mm-hmm.

294
00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:26,353
Oh, no, you don't.

295
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:27,721
You're not getting me.

296
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,356
I'm keeping
that five dollars.

297
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,358
Paint all you want.

298
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,026
Paint 20 potatoes

299
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,828
if you have to, Drew.

300
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:35,729
Are those my good potatoes?

301
00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:36,830
Not anymore!

302
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:37,931
Yeah, but I'll
chop 'em up

303
00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:39,399
and make French fries
after I turn my project in.

304
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:40,868
Hey, check it out.

305
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,135
I put a calendar
on the front.

306
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:44,271
I thought
you were supposed

307
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,438
to be making a car.

308
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,908
I thought you were supposed
to be eating your dinner.

309
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,810
I was,

310
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,746
but the potatoes were
too weak to run it.

311
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,081
I wonder
how many potatoes we need

312
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,382
to get rid of the light bill.

313
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,118
Enough to make mashed potatoes
for the next million years.

314
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,387
So Dad, you think you could pick
me up after school tomorrow?

315
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,755
For what?

316
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:03,924
To pick up cans.

317
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:07,460
Yeah, yeah, cans.

318
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:09,062
No problem.

319
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,064
Work tomorrow? No problem.

320
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:14,067
Unfortunately for me,
if you offer my dad a job,

321
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,936
he forgot
about everything else.

322
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,938
So Dad, I'm going
to come straight home

323
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,172
after school
tomorrow, okay?

324
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,408
Oh, I'm sorry, Chris.

325
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,476
I just picked up
an extra shift.

326
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,078
I get paid time
and a half, but,

327
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:26,379
hey, you're doing
okay though, right?

328
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,982
Yeah, Dad, I'm fine.

329
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:30,984
All right, I knew you would.

330
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,953
You're the man.
That's my boy.

331
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,925
We learned the reason
my mother yelled

332
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,559
wasn't because
she liked yelling.

333
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:43,096
It was because if she didn't
yell, no one would hear her.

334
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,164
Drew, wake up.

335
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,299
Hey, right.

336
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,968
Chris, you're going
to be late.

337
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,302
I'm coming.

338
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:51,104
Okay, fine.

339
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,239
Don't go to school.

340
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,808
Grow up stupid.

341
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:58,545
Tonya, wake up, baby.

342
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,547
All right, all right.

343
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:03,116
Five more minutes.

344
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,590
See?

345
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,425
Oh, this is
what I'm talking about.

346
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,427
I tried to be nice

347
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,429
and this is the thanks I get.

348
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:19,432
Yeah, I try not to be
rude and belligerent.

349
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,601
If I wasn't, nothing
would get done around here.

350
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,603
But that's okay.

351
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:26,974
Oh, okay, I guess I'm supposed
to clean this up too?

352
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,242
Oh, no, no, no problem,
Mr. Potato.

353
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:30,310
I'll clean you up.

354
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,945
I have nothing else
better to do.

355
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,947
No, please, you sit right there.

356
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:35,949
I'll be back.
No, really, stay!

357
00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,951
No, it's okay.

358
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,287
It's okay because...

359
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:45,926
Now that is just nasty.

360
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:49,262
After searching around,
I found a few cans,

361
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,398
but what I really needed
was some help.

362
00:13:55,335 --> 00:14:00,040
* Whoa, oh, mercy, mercy me...

363
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,943
There he is, Officer.
That's the man.

364
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,012
* Oh, things ain't what...

365
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,014
That's my boy.

366
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,482
If I ever needed my dad's help,
I needed it then.

367
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,018
Dad?

368
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:13,286
Dad!

369
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,290
Dad... ah, dang it!

370
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,291
Wait!

371
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,229
Move, move, move.

372
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:31,338
Dad?

373
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,140
I'm not your daddy.

374
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:42,349
Am I?

375
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,516
No.

376
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,552
Thank you, God.

377
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,669
Hey, baby, what you doing?

378
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:05,372
I looked everywhere
and I couldn't find any cans.

379
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,606
So I figured I'd get my own.

380
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,075
Want a soda?

381
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,342
Yeah, thanks.

382
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:10,577
You mean to tell me

383
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,345
you and your daddy
couldn't find one can?

384
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:15,983
I didn't want to tell on my
dad, but I didn't want to lie.

385
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:19,319
Well, Dad hasn't really had
any time

386
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,954
to come looking for cans
with me.

387
00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:23,256
He's been working.

388
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,292
Really.

389
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:27,427
My project was on its last leg.

390
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:30,163
And for my mother,
that was the last straw.

391
00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:31,364
Julius, wake up!

392
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,000
Oh, oh, what's going on?
What

393
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,002
I thought you were gonna help
Chris with his homework.

394
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,203
I was. I am.

395
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,404
When?

396
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,405
I don't know.

397
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,073
Rochelle, I've been working.

398
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:42,309
Oh, and I've just been laying
around the house all day?

399
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:43,310
Is that what it is?

400
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,178
I ask you
to help that boy

401
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,714
with one homework assignment,
in what, 15 years?!

402
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,549
And you can't
even do that!

403
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,618
All I ask you to do
is take the boy

404
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:53,286
and pick up some cans.

405
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,521
I'm sorry.

406
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,456
"I'm sorry"? You ought to be!

407
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,258
Your son needed
your help

408
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:02,529
with one school assignment,
but, no, you were too busy.

409
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,531
But, baby...

410
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,233
But

411
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:07,767
Are you going to help him
or not?

412
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,103
Mmm.

413
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,139
That's exactly what I thought.

414
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,540
Hmm.

415
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,175
Take your money.

416
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:19,679
I'm back!

417
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,583
Dad?

418
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,688
What's wrong?

419
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:30,223
What happened?

420
00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:31,558
Whoa, calm down.

421
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,426
I'm here to help you
with your Earth Day project.

422
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,062
I thought you had to work.

423
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,296
I do.

424
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,764
Now let's go get these cans.

425
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:41,601
* People, let me tell you
about my best friend *

426
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:45,238
* He's a warm-hearted person
who loves me to the end *

427
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:49,476
* Now, people, let me tell you
about my best friend *

428
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:54,547
* He's a one boy, cuddly toy, my
up, my down, my pride and joy *

429
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,349
* People, let me tell you
about him *

430
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:57,217
* He's so much fun

431
00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,220
* Whether we're talkin'
man to man *

432
00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:02,389
* Or whether we're talking
son to son *

433
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:05,225
* 'Cause he's my best friend

434
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:09,429
* Yes, he's my best friend...

435
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,464
:
Whoa!

436
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,470
Looks pretty full.

437
00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:18,705
Yeah, so you want
to take it

438
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,207
to the recycling center?

439
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,708
No, let's take it
first thing in the morning.

440
00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:23,576
Yeah.

441
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,318
So, Tonya,

442
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,586
I know you heard me
scream yesterday.

443
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,622
Yeah, are you sorry?

444
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,624
No, I'm not sorry

445
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,492
and I'll tell you why.

446
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:42,695
You can only talk that way
to someone when you love them.

447
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,264
But you have to be nice

448
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:45,732
to the people
that you don't know.

449
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,568
But that doesn't
make any sense.

450
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,870
No, it doesn't
make any sense,

451
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,872
but it so happens
to be true.

452
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,707
Like when Bush got reelected.

453
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:58,145
How can it be true
if it doesn't make any sense?

454
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,613
Because that's just
the way the truth is.

455
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:02,782
Oh.

456
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,817
So this means that
I'm going to go back

457
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:06,653
to yelling
at everybody.

458
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:08,288
Because you love us?

459
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:09,456
Exactly.

460
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,624
So I can yell
at you, too?

461
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,326
Mmm, if you want
the fillings

462
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,328
knocked out of your face,
go right ahead.

463
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:30,343
Sorry you had to miss work
for this, Dad.

464
00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:31,511
That's okay.

465
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:32,812
So how much money
did you make?

466
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:33,880
$100

467
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,148
Six.

468
00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:36,183
$600?!

469
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,450
No, six dollars.

470
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,386
I can't do anything
with this.

471
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,354
How am I supposed to save
the Earth with six dollars?

472
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,425
You know what, Chris?

473
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,695
To some people
six dollars is a lot of money.

474
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:53,400
You said you wanted
to help the planet.

475
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,904
Hey, Kill Moves.

476
00:18:57,937 --> 00:18:59,472
Konnichiwa!

477
00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:00,673
Oh.

478
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:01,641
Hey, Chris.

479
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:02,842
I got something for you.

480
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,477
Uh, what's this for?

481
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:05,345
Earth Day.

482
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:06,613
Earth Day, huh?

483
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,947
Hmm, thanks.

484
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,350
Hey,

485
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,484
Happy Earth Day.

486
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:15,355
Let's get you to school.

487
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:17,257
People talk
about saving the planet

488
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:18,691
by picking up
cansand bottles,

489
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:21,261
but the one thing
I learned from Earth Day

490
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:23,630
was that saving the planet
meant a lot to me,

491
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:27,367
but doing it with my father
meant the world to me.

492
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:34,207
So, Chris, tell us
about your Earth Day project.

493
00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:36,776
Oh, well, me and
my dad collected
a truckful of cans.

494
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,845
Chris, that's wonderful.

495
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,713
And I gave the money
to somebody less fortunate.

496
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:42,749
I mean, there's no reason
to save the Earth

497
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:43,783
if you can't save the people.

498
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:47,320
Oh, Chris, that's so profound.

499
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,489
Other than the fact
that you can see,

500
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,491
Stevie Wonder's
got nothing on you.

501
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,827
I know in my heart,

502
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:59,366
that money is somehow
going to help us all.

503
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:03,803
So we have
13 Styrofoam ice chests,

504
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,506
four cans
of aerosol spray paint,

505
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,509
one pack of cigarettes,
a gallon of whisky

506
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,979
and one container of "I Can't
Believe It's Not Margarine."

507
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:15,982
Would that be paper or plastic?

508
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:19,352
Plastic.

509
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:22,789
* Everybody Hates Chris.

510
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:25,292
Captioned by
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